How to Start a Grief Journal

When grief arrives on our doorstep, it can be tempting to shut the door, lock every bolt, and run away. The pain of loss can simply be too much to bear. No matter how many times we encounter grief, each instance is unique because the relationships we share with the departed are one-of-a-kind. There’s no clear road map for how to eliminate grief. The only certainty is that grief has to be addressed at some point in order to heal healthily. One of the best tools for facing grief is a grief journal.

What is Grief Journaling?

Grief journaling is the act of writing down your thoughts, feelings, and experiences related to your grief. Like therapy, it’s a personal and reflective process that helps you to explore and express your emotions. With this form of journaling, no specific format or structure is required; it’s simply a space for you to write whatever comes to mind as you navigate your grief. By putting pen to paper, you can begin to understand your emotions, find meaning in your loss, and gradually start the healing process.

Benefits of Grief Journaling

Provides an Easily Accessible Outlet

For grief-stricken individuals, it can be extremely difficult to open up about their grief experience because they may feel like no one could possibly understand what they’re going through. To a degree, they’re right. The special bond that has been lost is truly unique. Whether with pen and paper, an iPad, or a computer, grief journaling is always available for the bereaved to pour out their thoughts and feelings without the concern of judgment from others, scheduling a meet-up, or being interrupted.

Creates a Line of Communication with the Departed

When a loved one leaves us, it can make us feel isolated and powerless; there’s nothing we can do to change that they're gone. Grief journaling gives us agency in how we deal with the loss. It allows us to keep an open communication channel with our departed loved ones. Things we haven’t been able to tell them can find their way onto the page and into the universe, keeping us eternally connected.

Manages Our Grief Process

As we set down our thoughts and feelings, we begin to keep a written history of each stage of our healing. It can be interesting to see how much we’ve grown and changed over the course of weeks, months, and even years.

Helps Establish Cherished Memories

Writing about the remarkable life of a loved one allows us to rekindle cherished memories. Reflecting on these special moments, we begin to remember and celebrate all the times we’ve shared. As we explore and record these special details, new thoughts and revelations may present themselves.

Brings Peace and Serenity

Grief journaling can have a calming effect on our grief process. The act of sitting down to write out our thoughts and feelings tends to slow down the pace of our day. By avoiding distractions, we can focus on how we’re feeling at the present moment and really dive into those feelings. Writing it all out can be a beautiful way to release our stress over the loss.

Grief Journal Prompts

Whether you choose a journaling app, a composition notebook, or a personalized journal, there’s no “wrong way” to fill it. What you write down is for you. There’s no need to worry about holding back or self-editing. Punctuation and grammar rules need not apply. However, it may be challenging to know where to start once you’re staring at a blank page. Here are five helpful journal prompts for grief journaling:

Today, I feel…

Start with the present moment. What are you feeling right now? Again, there’s no wrong answer. As you start identifying your feelings, more thoughts will begin finding their way to the surface.

Lately, I’ve been really missing…

When we lose a loved one, we also lose many parts of the life we knew before their passing. It could be daily conversations you used to share, a cherished activity, or just their presence. Writing about the details of your loss can help you move forward.

One of my favorite memories of…

Writing about a favorite memory of your loved one is a beautiful way to celebrate their life and re-experience the joy of your bond.

Something I want to share with you is…

Even though a loved one is gone, you can still share thoughts with them. Writing a note to them in your journal can be very soothing and empowering. It’s a great way to exercise your overwhelming feelings about the loss.

I want to forgive myself for…

Guilt can play a large role in grief. Whether it’s something you did or didn’t do during your loved one’s time on this earth, it’s important to acknowledge the need for self-forgiveness. It may not be easy, but at least you can begin writing about the process so you can move forward healthily.

5 Tips for Routine Journaling

Creating a routine for your grief journaling can provide structure and consistency, which can be beneficial when life may feel unpredictable. Here are some tips to help you establish a routine:

Find a Quiet Space

Choose a quiet and comfortable space where you can write without interruptions. This could be a cozy corner of your home, a peaceful outdoor spot, or any place you feel at ease.

Set a Regular Time

Establish a regular time for journaling each day or week. This could be in the morning to start your day, in the evening to unwind, or any time that feels right for you. Consistency helps in forming a habit.

Start Small

If the idea of writing for a long period feels overwhelming, start with just a few minutes each day. Gradually, you may find yourself writing longer as you become more comfortable with the process.

Be Honest and Open

Allow yourself to be honest and open in your journal. Write without worrying about grammar, spelling, or structure. The journal is for your eyes only and is a safe space for your emotions.

Be Kind to Yourself

Remember that grief is a personal and unique process. There is no right or wrong way to grieve or to journal. Be kind and patient with yourself as you navigate this journey.

Grief journaling is a beautiful way to express your emotions healthily. It may not always be easy or smooth, but it has the power to help you manage your grief process. With time and patience, it’s possible to find joy and beauty in your life once again.