Today, with all the different methods and therapies available, it can be challenging to figure out what’s worth trying, and it can be frustrating when something doesn’t work. Well, there is one therapy that not many people think to use for grief: EMDR therapy.

What Is EMDR Therapy?

EMDR or Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing is an eye movement psychotherapy that is used to help alleviate stress and other negative feelings associated with traumatic memories, and is commonly used to help people with PTSD. EMDR therapy involves talking through traumatic memories while under bilateral simulation, which is where you move your eyes side to side. At the same time, your therapist gives alternative viewpoints and outlooks, encouraging you to associate the memories with more positive connotations.

What to Expect in an EMDR Session for Grief

In an EMDR session for grief, you can first expect an in-depth conversation about what you’re going through and how this loss has affected your everyday life to ensure that the EMDR therapy is personalized and effective. Then, they should walk you through what EMDR therapy is and what to expect, ensuring you’re comfortable and ready to cope with any unexpected emotions. Next, they should pinpoint specific grief-related memories and talk through what they’re planning to address with the therapy. The therapy itself should commonly involve moving your eyes side to side while addressing painful or traumatic memories. After the treatment, there is a body scan to ensure that you release any stored tension. Your session should end with a closure, ensuring that the therapy session ends on a positive note, and in future sessions, there should be an evaluation to pinpoint what worked and what to change and improve on in the future.

How EMDR Applies to Grief

While EMDR is commonly used for traumatic memories and PTSD, and although it might not be as common, EMDR can also be used to help you sort through memories of your deceased loved one that are causing distress, such as arguments that were never resolved or unresolved feelings that were never addressed.

Benefits of EMDR for Grief

• Accelerated Healing

With EMDR therapy, the amount of time it takes to cope with and heal from trauma and loss goes down significantly, and it can help your brain recover and learn how to cope with trauma in healthier ways.

• Resiliance

A significant benefit of EMDR therapy is that it helps people to build resistance to emotional distress and helps them to adapt to life after substantial events. With EMDR therapy, your brain learns better ways to process distress and trauma, leading to healthier habits and coping mechanisms.

• Emotional Regulation

EMDR therapy helps individuals process overwhelming emotions in a safe and structured way, which can lead to greater emotional regulation. When grief is intense, emotions often feel chaotic or difficult to control, swinging between sadness, guilt, anger, or numbness. EMDR allows the brain to reprocess traumatic or painful memories so they’re no longer as emotionally triggering. Learning how to process trauma often results in clearer thinking, fewer emotional outbursts, and a greater sense of mental balance. Over time, this emotional clarity makes it easier to navigate the stages of grief and move toward acceptance and healing.

Is EMDR Right for You?

While going through trauma and grief, everyone copes differently. What brings healing for one person might feel ineffective or overwhelming for another; we all have unique emotional processes, life experiences, and ways of internalizing pain. While some individuals can find relief through talk therapy, support groups, or journaling, others might struggle to express or even identify the root of their distress. Identifying stressful memories is where EMDR therapy can offer a powerful alternative. EMDR doesn’t require you to retell your entire story or analyze your emotions in depth; instead, it focuses directly on unresolved, emotionally charged memories. If your grief is tied to specific events or moments you can’t seem to move past, like the day of a loss, a traumatic conversation, or the moment you received life-changing news, EMDR may help your brain reprocess those memories in a way that feels less painful over time. By targeting these memory "stuck points," EMDR allows your brain to heal from the emotional wounds that standard coping mechanisms might not touch. So if you feel like your grief is anchored to a particular moment in time, or you’re having trouble making peace with past experiences, EMDR therapy might be the right next step in your healing journey.

Works Cited

“EMDR’s Role in Processing Grief and Loss.” Toby Barron Therapy, 16 Sept. 2024, tobybarrontherapy.com/blog/emdr-for-grief/

“What Is EMDR?” EMDR Institute - EYE MOVEMENT DESENSITIZATION AND REPROCESSING THERAPY, 3 Dec. 2024, www.emdr.com/what-is-emdr/